How We Met – A Lesbian Love Story

Our Lesbian Dating Story

At the end of 2010, I was living in Vancouver working as a freelance performer, and teaching dance and fitness classes at a couple of studios in the city. One evening when I went in to teach, I noticed an adorable brunette taking the hip hop class before mine, and a couple of weeks later I saw her again when I went in to sub a friend’s class. She started coming to my classes and making me nervous while I taught. We chatted a couple times and she told me she loved taking hip hop, but was trying to get out of her comfort zone by taking ballet, contemporary, and other styles. I told her that hip hop was not my thing, and that if she was trying to get out of her comfort zone she should come take my sexy Pussy Cat Dolls class. She jokingly suggested that I come take hip hop with her, and in return she would come to my PCD class, and I agreed. When the evening came, she brought me sweatpants and a baggy jersey to wear, and I tried to look as cool as possible in front of her. Then she stayed for my class, and I made her stand in the front and dance as sexy as she could… I’m pretty sure she hated it. We talked and joked and maybe even flirted afterwards, without knowing what kind of a friendship we were building. When you’re two girls who aren’t sure if the other might be gay, neither of you want to be the one to ask and potentially ruin it.

Steph and I always laugh about “who made the first move” because we both kind of did, and didn’t. Once we started to feel like friends, she casually asked me to go see a show with her. She gave me her phone number, but also invited some other friends from the studio. I spent days dissecting all of the signs and signals, wondering if she had asked me on a date. I confided in friends and asked their opinions, and was so nervous that I even considered coming up with an excuse as to why I couldn’t go. Finally I decided I would do it, and the day before the show I texted Steph to arrange the details. We somehow ended up spending the whole day chatting and getting to know one other. We asked about each other’s work and families, and we connected immediately on our mutual love for travel and the arts. Later on in the conversation I worked up the courage to invite her to my upcoming birthday party, and told her she could bring her boyfriend or girlfriend if she had one. I needed to figure out if she was into girls, and I figured one of us had to finally ask! By the end of the night we had both confessed our crushes on each other, and felt giddy at the thought of seeing each other the next day.

Our group hang had turned into a threesome date, as only one other girl showed up to go to the show. She of course had no idea that Steph and I liked each other, which made for a hilarious afternoon. Later that week we went on a real date, and quickly started spending every spare moment together. When my birthday approached, Steph asked me how I would introduce her to everyone at my party, and we decided I would introduce her as my girlfriend. She was the first girl I’d dated, so my birthday party became a bit of a coming out party, but all my friends embraced her without question. Soon after, Steph introduced me to her friends and we met each other’s families. Our relationship moved forward quickly and easily, and we have been inseparable ever since.

We consider my birthday to be our dating anniversary, and now in 2018 we’ve been together for over 7 years. Steph always says that she attracted me into her life, and I truly believe that she did. Right before we met, she had returned from a three month solo backpacking trip through South America where she’d done a lot of personal growth. Upon getting home, she was trying to do things that challenged her, which led her to take dance classes at a nearby studio. She says that she felt open to the idea of a relationship at that time, but she knew she liked feminine girls and wasn’t meeting any in her circles of hockey friends. If she wanted to meet someone new who had similar interests to her, she knew she had to get out and do something different. As soon as she did, she met me. She found me at the perfect time in her life and I found her at the perfect time in mine. Before meeting Steph I was doing some growing of my own. I was discovering that I might be gay, and realizing that was why my previous relationships had failed. I was confused and a bit scared of what it all meant, and I was doing a lot of research trying to define my feelings. I was going out to gay clubs with my friends hoping to meet a girl, but failing desperately every time. I was ready to invite someone into my life, and I knew that I wanted a serious relationship. When I finally opened myself up to all possibilities, I found her.

We are firm believers in “when you know, you know”, and I think we both knew quite quickly. We could picture our life together. And of course our life has taken us in all sorts of directions since we met, and our love has grown and evolved beyond what either of us could have imagined. But it all comes back to us simply knowing that this is it, and we choose each other, forever.